The Best And Worst Things To Tell Your Kid When Discussing Careers…

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When I was a kid, my parents told me that I “could be anything that I wanted to be when I grew up, as long as I put my mind to it,” and they meant it. They fully believed that, if I tried my best, I could accomplish anything. As I’ve grown up, I’ve discovered that most of my friends were given the same advice. Here’s the thing… there are some serious problems with that advice. It’s time to roll out “you can be anything you want to be, as long as you put your mind to it, version 2.0.”

First, the deficiencies in the original advice:

  1. It isn’t exactly true. If you are Stephen Hawking, it probably doesn’t matter how much effort you put into practicing, you’re not going to become the world’s best opera singer. People have limitations. This doesn’t mean that you should discourage your kids from working towards something, just because you can’t see their talent. All it means is that you need to mentally prepare them for success and failure – they will surely meet both in their lives.
  2. It doesn’t actually help them accomplish anything. It just places the blame on them if they don’t accomplish their goals – because failure can only mean that they didn’t put their mind to it, or try hard enough. It encourages doubling-down, instead of teaching them how to know when to cut their losses, and at the same time, manages to provide absolutely zero guidance in the child’s quest to accomplish their goals.
  3. It encourages the child to fixate on the things that presently interest them, while turning a deliberately blind eye on everything else, resulting in many missed opportunities.
  4. You probably still don’t know what you want to be, because none of the careers that you have imagined are likely to be anything like you imagine them to be. So, this is a condition even more exacerbated by the inexperienced nature of youth. Your kid (probably) doesn’t have a blessed clue what they actually want to be when they grow up, unless you have put a great deal of time into helping them understand the realities (good and bad) of many different career options.

How do we improve upon this advice?

  1. We take an active role in helping our kid(s) figure out what they enjoy, where their talents and skills are, and the ways in which they can employ all three, in their pursuit of a career.
  2. Try to identify the paths that lead to the career that might interest them, and guide them accordingly.
  3. Don’t get frustrated with them when they change their mind a thousand times – because everything that we learn along the way is a benefit to us.
  4. Help them understand that nothing is perfect – and that includes their dream job. We need to help kids see the reality of a number of different careers and help them understand what each will require. It isn’t that we should be telling them how awful what they want to do is, but rather, giving them an objective list of pros and cons and helping them to decide what they really want out of life.
  5. In terms of that last one… you cannot pick a career and pretend that it exists in a vacuum, and that it won’t deeply affect the rest of your life. Some people live to work, and some work to live. If you haven’t helped your child figure out what their priorities are in life, then there is very little chance that your efforts at helping them pick a career are of significant value. You cannot have a one hundred hour a week job, carry a mortgage on a mansion, drive a Mercedes, spend time with your spouse, have a meaningful relationship with your kids, and maintain close friendships. The idea of “having it all,” is a myth. Steve Jobs spent his final days developing Apple’s product line for the years following his death. He did not choose to spend those days with his wife or child. No part of me finds that relatable. So, if I try to shove little Stevie Jobs in the direction that makes sense to me, he isn’t going to end up being where he wants to be –  and if we don’t give our kids any guidance at all, then we are on the wrong end of the old adage: “failing to plan, is planning to fail,” on behalf of some of the most important people in our lives.

Bonus Tip: When I was in middle school and high school, everyone that you ever met was telling you that if you wanted to be sure to land a job out of college (because, duh… you’re going to college, dumbhead), you should become a teacher. You know what the most common course of study I heard friends say they were pursuing? You guessed it: teacher! You know who struggled for years to get jobs? You guessed it again! All of those new prospective teachers. So, when you hear everyone tell you that you should have your middle/high schooler become a [insert career here], because there’s not enough people to fill those jobs, thank them for their advice, spin your kid 180 degrees away from that option, and give them a good shove forward… unless, of course, the flavor of the decade also happens to be their passion. There have been plenty of artists that were willing to starve – and some teachers, and my guess is, there will be some tradespeople in the coming years that fit that description. Just make sure that it is their passion driving them towards the flavor of the day and not the echoing of society’s conventional wisdom – because that is hardly ever right.

Why Are You Teaching What You’re Teaching?

By: RealSchooling.com

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Albert Einstein was once presented with questions from the questionnaire to which Edison subjected prospective employees. When asked, “what is the speed of sound?” He responded, “I don’t know. I don’t burden my memory with such facts that I can easily find in any textbook.”

I recently saw a discussion about good ways to help students memorize the periodic table of elements. Why? There is so much to learn – so much worth learning.

As you contemplate the rest of this year, this summer, and next year, I encourage you to re-thi your approach to education. Of course, we have to focus on science and math. However, instead of committing energy to memorizing “facts that [we] can easily find in any textbook,” or database, shift that energy to critical thinking skills. We live in a world of shoddy information. Developing the skills to be able to identify the legitimate from the nonsense, or the signal from the noise, is of far greater value to a person than the ability to recall myriad facts.

If you are looking for some other great topics on which to focus, perhaps consider some of the following:

  • Logic & Reasoning
  • Decision Making
  • Cognitive Science (the study of thought, learning, and mental organization, which draws on aspects of psychology, linguistics, philosophy, and computer modeling.)

Whether you attend a RealSchooling.com course on any of these topics, or pursue them on your own, our genuine hope is that your family has an amazing homeschooling experience, and that you all get everything out of it that is possible!

Best,

Jeffrey D. Hoffmann, Founder – RealSchooling.com, RealSchooling.blog

Communication Skills: (Defining)Words Matter(s).

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Okay, I know that you may already know this, but, it needs to be said: words matter. I don’t mean in the sense that “words can hurt our feelings,” or in terms of the inherent power of the spoken, or written, word – although, those are true statements. I’m talking about the meaning of the word that you’ve chosen to use – and the significance of making sure that the person with whom you are communicating understands the meaning of the word that you’re using – as you are defining it.

If that entire concept sounds like semantics, that’s because it is. The word semantics is defined as “the meaning of a word.” We’ve been very misguided in our dismissal of the significance of this task – and recently, a great example presented itself. You may have heard, recently, that scientists discovered a new organ! For now, I’ll ignore the fact that we still understand so very little of our bodies, earth, solar system, universe, etc., that there was an “organ,” that is so pervasive that it exists in a significant portion of the human body (a post for another day, I suppose). Let’s just focus on the fact that it might not actually be an organ (hence the quotation marks around the word organ, above).  You see, the thing is, “no two anatomists will agree on a list of organs in the body,” according to Paul Neumann, a professor of medicine at Dalhousie University in Canada and member of the  Federative International Programme for Anatomical Terminology. If you’re anything like me, you respond to that statement with incredulity and a solid, “beg your pardon,” or even a disbelieving, “come again. now?” How is it possible that anatomists cannot agree on how many organs are in the human body – a number which is debatably as high as 79 or 80 (yes, you read that right – they contend that there are as many as 79 or 80 organs in the human body)? Well, the answer to that is the easiest part of this story to explain. They can’t agree on the number of organs, because there is no agreed upon definition for the word “organ,” except in terms of the musical instrument.

The real kicker is that it doesn’t actually matter whether you call it an organ or not. Are your organs the most important part of your body? That depends on who you ask as well. To the person that has failing organs, I suppose they’d answer, “yes.” However, to the person battling an autoimmune disease that causes their white blood cells to attack their platelets (a condition called “I.T.P.”), the fact that neither the white blood cells, nor the platelets are defined as “organs,” is of no consequence at all. Therefore, the new discovery of some aspect of our human anatomy is significant, irrespective of the label given to that discovery.

You might think, well, that’s all great, but, I don’t discover organs, so why are you bothering me? You’re obviously right: you don’t discover organs. On the other hand, your work is significantly more important than discovering organs. You’re educating someone that has the chance to be taught the lessons that are completely missed in the traditional educational setting. Someone who will soon go out into the world – and, by virtue of the fact that you educated them, and are the type of person that is still reading this blog post, they will likely be the sort of person that succeeds and has a significant impact on the world around them.  Someone that has the ability to be the voice of reason in a society that has forgotten – or in some cases, never learned, how to reason. Our social and political divisions come down to a handful of ideological differences. However, the chasm that most of society has come to believe exist between ourselves and those that possess opinions which differ from our own, is related to an even smaller number of root causes. Among them, the failure to define our words, and the failure to define the meaning of someone else’s words.

Aside from being able to communicate better with everyone around us, the decision to carefully and deliberately define our words has the potential to determine whether our kids end up learning the lessons that we are trying to teach them, or, end up heeding the advice that they mistakenly believe that we were trying to give them, only to end up way off the mark, and incredibly frustrated.

Jeffrey Hoffmann, Esq., Founder – RealSchooling.com & RealSchooling.blog